Celeb Courthouse

When I grow up I want to be Jodie Marsh. Not only is she the epitome of grace and sophistication, but she is also a true fashion icon. Who else could pull off this stunning ensemble? Well, probably a $5 day-shift tranny hooker, but that’s besides the point!

If the CDC ever lets her into America, she should come and show the whores here how it’s really done. I’m almost tempted to say that Jodie is more elegant than Shauna Sand! I know, I should be fucked with a lucite heel for saying that. Jodie and Shauna should settle this in a Miss Elegant pageant. It can be held in a Hazmat tent and Dimitri the Lover will judge.

Here’s more of Jodie out in London last night. The people around her are so lucky. I’m surprised they aren’t going into violent seizures from being close to her intense glamour. I swear, I’d totally go lesbo for her. Eating her coochie would be like biting into a fresh jalapeno, but I like to live on the wild side.

55 year-old Patrick Swayze has put on some weight and is looking good as he battles pancreatic cancer. He has undergone experimental “cyberknife” surgery and was thought to be gaunt and just hanging in there but these latest photos may prove the speculation wrong. He seems to be in excellent spirits and not as thin […]

Amy Wino was out with friends in Camden last night and they might have been getting the party started for Blaaake. He receives his sentence tomorrow and some seem to think that the judge is going to release him into the wild! Crackie dealers all over London are at their crack alters praying he’s set free. The judge could also sentence him to 5 years or less in the chokey.

Blaaake’s mommy and daddy wrote the judge, begging the court to send him home with them and not to Wino. Mommy Blaaake told the News of the World, “I’m absolutely dreading it because I don’t want him to go straight back to Amy. If he goes it could be a death sentence for the two of them. Blake thinks he’s going to be Amy’s saviour and has every intention to try to stop the drugs. But Amy is completely unstable. Blake is a recovering addict and he’s not strong enough to resist the temptation. If they are reunited, I know they will be back on drugs within days.”

Blaaake is a recovering addict? Since when? Methinks Mommy Blaaake has been smoking some of the hard stuff too.

She thinks that if he goes back to Wino, they will both overdose. Mommy Obvious wants Wino to go to rehab and for Blaaake to come home with her. She went on to say, “She needs to prove that she loves him enough to stop. Then, once they are both drugs-free, they can have a real future together.”

Daddy Wino has already said that Blaaake needs to go straight into rehab after he’s released from the clink. So basically Daddy Wino is blaming Blaaake and Mommy Blaaake is blaming Wino.

If Blaaake is released, we probably won’t see Wino for a while. They are going to lock themselves in her crack den, where they will snort coke out of each other’s genitals, videotape it and upload it to YouTube. Crackies love YouTube.

Here’s more of Wino out with her friends last night. Seriously, she has the weirdest group of friends. They look like hookers and gypsy hipsters.

Britney Spears is using her new album to get revenge on the people once closest to her-and mother Lynne Spears and ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake have emerged as Public Enemies Nos. One and Two.
“These tunes will change the way people think about Britney. A lot of people have messed her around over the years and she’s […]

Filed under: Wacky & Weird

After once again being mobbed by hordes of Batman loving fans — Christian Bale was showing signs of autograph fatigue at LAX.

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Christian Bale: “Batman” is Gonna Bite It!

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Filed under: Wacky & Weird

After once again being mobbed by hordes of Batman loving fans — Christian Bale was showing signs of autograph fatigue at LAX.

See Also

Christian Bale: “Batman” is Gonna Bite It!

…

Permalink

Michelle Williams has retreated into hiding as The Dark Knight shatters box office records in North America . The actress, who has a two year-old daugher named Matilda with the late Heath Ledger, has told friends that she cannot cope with the massive hype surrounding the film, which has sparked Oscar buzz for Ledger who […]